Thursday, March 22, 2012

I'm Trying Dangit! or, How Can You Tell When You are Being Rude?

I'm often accused of being rude. I'm perfectly willing to admit that I can be a rude person. I have strong opinions that I am passionate about and I generally think (like most people) that I'm right. Mormonism probably added to my already strong personality; the church claims that it is the one true church and teaches it's members to state that without shame. In teaching that it is the only church with all the truth, it creates superiority complexes. There's a lot of "we know more then they do, we have more truth then they do, we're right and they aren't." We often seen mocking or condescending remarks made by leaders, teachers and members about other religions; "They believe in the Trinity, but WE know better." "They say the same prayer over again, but WE know better then that." So I spent a lot of my life thinking I was right about God and others weren't.

I really don't want to be that person. I don't want to be the person telling other people they are wrong. But I also don't want to bow out and not express my beliefs because they are just as valid as other people's. So I'm trying to find a way for be kind and respectful of other people and their opinions, while expressing my own. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes not so much. And sometimes I really can't tell. Sometimes I feel like I'm polite and respectful, but the person I'm talking to gets angry and says I'm rude because I disagree with them. So who do I trust? Do I determine my success by my own feelings or how others react to me?

While I'm trying to figure when I'm being rude or not, I'm also trying to cut myself some slack. I'm trying to be respectful, I'm trying to be compassionate. But I'm also a passionate person who is working through anger. Sometimes I'll blow my stack at someone, sometimes I'll ream someone out instead of being polite. Sometimes I'll treat others with disrespect when they disrespect me instead of treating them how I want to be treated. That's not okay, but I'm trying dangit! I'm trying, I really am. I can't do more then try.


  1. Oh, I can completely sympathize! I feel like there are times were I couldn't say *anything* that wouldn't offend--no matter how polite or understanding I was try to be. I once got shut down in a class at BYU when I said a lot modern feminists think we should respect women's choices (i.e., whether women work, are SAHMS--it's all good). I got the Proclamation thrown at me.

    I get your frustrating. It's always a constant battle.